Going no contact with family is a big decision, not to be taken lightly. No one’s family is perfect, and we’re bound to get on each other’s nerves, make mistakes, or even disagree on fundamental issues. But the goal in any relationship isn’t perfection; it’s love.

Now, let me be clear - love does not mean tolerating abuse. There are cases where going no contact is absolutely the right choice. But I’m noticing an online trend where people are increasingly choosing to cut off family members over disagreements that could be managed with boundaries.

The key is to ask: is this person’s behaviour abusive, or is it simply that they have different values to me? Feeling offended or disagreeing with someone’s politics isn’t a reason to go no contact, and if you feel unsafe simply because someone holds a different opinion, that’s an invitation to look inward.

It’s not a black and white issue, so let’s look at when going no contact really might be the best call:

1. Physical abuse – If someone is physically abusive, it’s time to protect yourself and leave.
2. Repeated emotional abuse – we all make mistakes, say things we regret or lose our temper at times, but repeated emotional abuse - especially after you’ve voiced your needs - isn’t something to tolerate.
3. Refusal to respect boundaries – if you’ve tried setting boundaries, and they’re continually disregarded, it’s clear this person has no intention of respecting your limits.
4. Constant gaslighting – If you’re in a relationship where you’re constantly questioning reality or you're being manipulated, it’s a strong sign no contact might be warranted.

In other situations, boundaries might help. This could look like redirecting conversations, limiting the time you spend with certain people, or even leaving the room if things get heated. Boundaries offer a middle ground that protects your peace without cutting off relationships entirely. 

The ability to set healthy and loving boundaries and live with our differences is a sign of emotional maturity. If you’re ready to learn how to speak your truth with love, click here to download my free boundaries ebook.